Tuesday, April 5, 2011

STILL SOBER A YEAR LATER

Amazing how fast the last year went. Courtney has had her ups and downs but so far has come out on top. Last September she enrolled in six hours at Arizona State University majoring in social work. It had been a couple of years since she had attended school and was a little nervous about how she would do. She completed the semester with a 3.50 GPA and is currently enrolled in nine hours this semester. School is becoming very enjoyable for her this semester since she has more classes in social work and so far she has a 4.00 GPA. Gaining confidence she enrolled for twelve hours for the fall semester and will take Biology in summer school at a community college. One of her goals now is to graduate with honors.

The cost of living was going up for Courtney - her rent at an Extended Stay hotel was going to double at the end of March. With real estate prices down it became obvious that it would be less expensive in the long run to buy a condo. As luck would have it we found an amazing bargain - and it wasn't even a short sale. A one bedroom condo in downtown Phoenix, built only ten years ago and only a 15 minute drive to school. The condo had gone into foreclosure then was bought by a group from Chicago who went about updating the units. Our condo has brand new wooden floors, basically a new kitchen with new cabinets, stainless appliances, and granite. The bathroom looked like new too with a granite countertop. There is also a one car garage. All this for $69,900. For the first time in three years Courtney feels like she has a real home.

Courtney does realize now just how much she has to lose should she ever drink and drive again. In Phoenix a second conviction could get you six months in jail. Harsh but probably effective. Looking back, however, I do think that the DUI classes Courtney attended for so long really did help her. This type of counseling is a valuable resource in keeping people sober, along with the fear of winding up in tent city for an extended stay.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

RELEASED!

Days had a way of slowing down just before Courtney was to be released. Once she was out I believed my anxiety level would plummet and sleep would come easier each night. Courtney's license was to be suspended for three months and she was also required to get a breathalizer installed in her car. I called a couple of companies to inquire about getting one installed and was told Courtney would first have to received a letter from DMV requiring her to have one installed in her car. No letter - no breathalizer. We just couldn't wait to pay $90 a month for one.

Courtney was also required to attend weekly group counseling for which she (we) would have to pay $20 each week for about four months. She was able to schedule this for after she was able to drive again. Fortunately she actually enjoyed going each week and really liked the woman in charge and the people in her group. As much experience as Courtney had with group therapy I knew she would make the most of it. The hardest part for her would be getting up in the morning to go.

In the meantime, however, Courtney and Chris were having a few problems. She had only been out of rehab and living with Chris a short while before having to report to jail and adjusting to life on the "outside" was a little difficult. We thought things were going smoothly with them, but after one argument he made her pack up and get out - with no where to go - late one night. It was the first week of the month and we had paid for half the rent and utilities but since the lease was in Chris' name he believed he had the right to kick her out to spend the night in her car. She called me right away and told me everything that had happened - trivial argument blown out of prorportion. Both saying things they shouldn't. Then I called Chris and spoke with him, reminding him that we had paid her share of the rent. He assured me he would pay us back.(lol) As devastated as Courtney was, however, I was impressed by the way she was handling it.

I got online and added some funds to her money card from AAA so she could go to an atm and get enough cash for a cheap motel. There was a Super 8 a couple of miles away and she spent a couple of nights there before moving to a Days Inn for a couple of nights. A couple of hours online and I found there are many hotels in Phoenix especially for very long stays. Most are like an efficiency apartment. Some are horrid and a few are nice and a much better deal then an apartment. Within a week we had her moved into Budget Suites that was just a few miles from Chris and very close to her DUI classes.

Budget Suites worked out to be much cheaper than an apartment because there were no utility bills to pay and no lease. The outside was very nice - the inside was dated but spacious. She stayed there for one month before moving to Extended Stay a couple of miles away in the Biltmore area of Phoenix. A lot less for a much nicer place to stay.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

LAST TWO WEEKS

Since Courtney was unable to call or use a computer she had to actually write a letter in order to communicate with us. The first letter we received she complained that she was still not receiving her medications and it was starting to affect her. At that point we decided to hire an attorney to meet with her and do what he could to help her get her medications faster. I found one online that I liked - he had been educated in South Africa and had also gone to school here and he had worked in the District Attorney's office for a while before becoming a defense attorney. By the time he was able to get into see Courtney she had finally been given her medication. However, his visit was the highlight of her day and he gave her some very good advice. It did give us peace of mind to know that she was really alright and we now had a lawyer to call if she needed one. As Courtney's new lawyer told me - "the treatment of inmates in the Phoenix prison system is an embarrassment because it is so bad."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

VISITING TENT CITY

Nothing can prepare you for your first visit to your child in jail. In the waiting area there are two guards behind a window (probably bullet proof) and you have to fill out a form with prisoner's name and booking number, and your name and relation and if you have ever committed a felony. You also put how long you want to visit - 1/2 hour, one hour, or one hour and a half. (Inmates were allowed three thirty minute visits each seven days.) I had learned from the information line that visiting days are Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Fortunately I had a late afternoon flight leaving Phoenix that Saturday.

Then you hand the form back with your driver's license, which they keep and give you a number to retrieve your license after the visit. I was able to put money on Courtney's account so she could buy toiletries at the canteen. Prisoners are only provided with a toothbrush and toothpaste and soap. Chris and I had to take off all our jewelry (some of his piercings did not come out). The guard even made a little old lady using a walker take out the comb that was holding up her long gray hair in a bun. We signed up for an hour visit.

When we went into the visiting room we first went through a locked door that the guard opened into a small space with another locked door that did not open until the other door had locked behind you. We had to take our number to the guard sitting at a desk in the corner of the room and she led us to table number 14. There were about 20 tables that reminded me of the tables in McDonald's except there was a five inch high partition running down the center lengthwise. We were not allowed to reach over that partition. We were not allowed to even lean over it. We were not allowed to hug Courtney when she came in or touch her at all. When we sat down I noticed on the other side were handcuffs attached to the table. I started to cry.

Courtney was brought in in shackles attached to two other women behind her. She was smiling and looked good despite it all. Actually she looked kind of cute in the light grey striped jumpsuit with pink thermals underneath. Courtney told us it seemed so weird to see me sitting there with her boyfriend. We told her what we had been doing and how we went out on Thursday night and had a good time. I found out that Courtney had not been getting her psych medication. She takes Celexa for depression and Clonidine (which is for high blood pressure but it is given to depressed people to help them sleep.) When she was first put in stripes she was given a form to fill out that would go to the clinic where she would get her medication. Saturday morning just before our visit she was taken to the clinic for a physical. The doctor informed her that she had been given the wrong form for her medication and the one she filled out was to get an appointment with the psychiatrist. The doctor also informed Courtney that she was impressed with her teeth because she had all of them and they were in real good shape and that was very rare at tent city.

Courtney also told us about working in the laundry, standing all the time folding uniforms and underwear and she had no lunch break. Her heels hurt so bad it was hard to take. After work everyone had to be stripped searched and when she showered it was with all the other girls. There are no doors on the shower and there were some small openings to the outside which made it very cold and there was not much hot water. The upside of working in the laundry, however, was that she got clean clothes and underwear everyday. If you don't work in the laundry you get clean clothes once a week.

Smoking is not allowed when you are in stripes. However, a few girls managed to have some cigarettes smuggled in. Apparently friends on the outside will wrap cigarettes or dope up in a ball and throw it over the fence. I had just assumed the guards sold stuff like that to supplement their income. Sleeping all through the night is difficult because random announcements are made over the speaker. A couple of times their tent was searched and once was in the middle of the night. The guards come in full swat gear with their dogs and long mirrors and look all through the beds and tents. They never found anything.

Courtney had been calling us daily (collect) while she was in work release but the day after she was in stripes she called home and during her conversation with her father a recording kept coming on to "deposit more money." After that call she was unable to place any more collect phone calls. She finally learned that the reason could be that since she had run up a high bill and it had not been paid yet she was cut off. That was fine with us. Collect calls from jails are obscenely expensive.

All in all out visit had been upbeat until we had to leave. You are shooed out of there quickly which is really for the best because the look on Courtney's face as we were leaving was hard to take. Chris was happy because he saw that Courtney was all right after all and that helped keep me from weeping. During our car ride home we discussed how we were going to manage Courtney when she was released. When we arrived back at his duplex I discovered that we had left our driver's license at tent city so I turned around and drove right back. I would have missed my flight if I did not have my license. As soon as we walked back in the guard handed our licenses to us. I wonder if many people walk off and leave their licenses like we did.

Finally dropped Chris off then drove around looking for someplace for lunch and settled on the Applebee's where I had taken him to dinner my first night in town. It was an easy drive to the airport and turning my rental in took only a few minutes. My flight was on time for which I was grateful since every other time we took this later flight it was delayed for one reason or another. But it is worth it for a direct flight.

Friday, January 29, 2010

SECOND WEEK

The second week had gone well until I received a distress call from Courtney. Apparently she had decided to have a beer just before returning to jail. Bad idea. As soon as she walked past the guard she is told to come back because the guard thought she smelled alcohol on her breath. She was given a breathalizer and it showed that she had indeed been drinking. Courtney was put in stripes. This is bad. She no longer had work release and she needed me to call her boyfriend Chris and tell him what happened and that she is sorry. Courtney didn't say she was sorry to ME, however.

I was really shocked. How stupid could she be? All I could think of was why would she do such a thing. You just don't break the rules at Tent City without consequences if you are caught. The guards have a lot of power there. Courtney had told us more than once after she told us about the DUI that she had learned her lesson. Well she obviously forgot her lesson already. She never did pay very good attention in school either. The lesson would really be reinforced now while she was in stripes.

Courtney was moved to a different section of tents and they took away all her regular clothes, she even had to wear their underwear. They took away her flashlight for reading at night (it could be used as a weapon). She would have to work at whatever job they had for her. She thought she was miserable before, now she will find out what misery really is.

With Courtney unable to leave during the day we were presented with another problem. The temporary Arizona license tag Courtney had on her car was giong to expire in three days. Ron and I decided that I would have to go to Phoenix and take care of the tag. I'm always ready for a trip to anywhere so I was quite happy to go. Fortunately Ron had enough points at work to transfer to me for a free ticket on Southwest. (Gotta love those points!) I would leave on Thursday morning and return on Saturday. So I found a La Quinta a few miles from the airport on 48th in Tempe and rented a car from Hertz. I would be within ten miles of where Courtney and Chris lived and just a couple of miles from Arizona Mills Mall. I couldn't have found a better location, especially for the price and especially since there was a huge car auction in Phoenix and most of the hotels were booked.

I texted Chris and we agreed that we should wait until after rush hour traffic to go over to the jail to look for Courtney's car. I was more than happy to just lay on the bed and watch a couple of episodes of Burn Notice. I had reserved a delux king room which turn out to be a large suite with a fridge and microwave. For less than $100 a night it was quite a bargain. The only problem was this hotel did not have a business center and I had to go online with my phone which is a real pain in the ****.

Thankfully I had remembered to bring my GPS so I had no trouble finding Chris's duplex. I texted him when I arrived since it was raining and I didn't want to get out of the car and he came right out. Chris directed me to the jail via the back way so we did not get on the freeway and there was little traffic. Chris is a very personable young man and we had a good conversation during the 25 minutes it took to get to our destination. He is very open and honest and I appreciated that and felt I could probably trust him. The tent city area is huge with different sections for the men and women. The parking lot was not that huge and Chris spotted the toyota as soon as we pulled in. It would have taken me God knows how long to find the correct parking lot in the dark. It would be confusing enough for me in the daytime. I gave Chris the key so he could drive the toyota back to the duplex while I followed him. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him. Since he had a DUI in his past he knew his way around.

Chris parked the car on the street in front of the duplex then retrieved Courtney's purse, phone, medication and all the paperwork we needed for the license and anything else of value and took it all inside. The duplex is in a historic district and one of their neighbors is a cop. It's a good area and I took Chris to a nearby Applebee's for dinner. We talked quite a bit that night. Chris was very open and honest and told me what Courtney had been up to and his concerns for her. We were definately on the same page about a lot of things concerning Courtney and we would be able to work together to keep her in line.

I quickly realized that she was so much better off living with him than at the half way house - I think she had been there too long. Rehab/half way houses are a good thing but there comes a point where one needs to leave and find other people to interact with that are not addicts. Chris told me that Courtney's best friend at the half way house was dating a guy who was still using meth. Chris told Courtney that if the boyfriend was using meth then his girlfriend certainly was. But, Courtney said, "her urine tests are all clean." Chris had noticed this friend had the shakes and he told Courtney that there are ways to fix those tests. He did not believe the girl was clean.
Chris and I decided that Courtney should not be allowed to go out with this girl, which would not be a problem for a while because Courtney's license was suspended. And I knew that Courtney loved Chris and did not want to jepardize their relationship

Friday morning I picked up Chris and he took me to a third party DMV for the license tag. There was no line so I was able to give all the paperwork (lease agreement, power of attorney from Toyota, registration) to a young lady who took a long time to look at everything, then show it to someone else, then type very slowly on her computer. Then after she faxed everything to DMV we had to wait for a response from them for permission to get the tag. We stood there for 15 minutes until the girl asked me if I just wanted to leave my phone number and she would call as soon as she got a reply back. That sounded good to us so I gave her my number and left.

Ron had called and told me to pay Courtney's Jan. fine because it was due today and she could not pay it since she was in jail and if she did not pay it a warrant would be issued for her arrest and she would be in jail longer since she was already there. I thought I would have to wander around city hall trying to find where to pay fines but Chris looked at her paperwork and made a call to see if I could pay over the phone with a credit card. I could and it took only ten minutes of our time. I was beginning to love that boy.

I had to meet a friend of ours for lunch. Courtney had been working for Bill and his office was about a mile and a half from the duplex. I dropped Chris and went to Bill's office. There is a mens halfway house about ten minutes from his office and we went there for lunch and an AA meeting. The speaker was an entertaining woman who had been a lawyer and a municipal court judge. She had gone to work for a short while in Iraq and went to AA meetings in several countries - except Egypt because she was scared to get on the subway since she did not know Arabic.

After lunch I picked Chris back up and we went back to the jail to see if we could talk them into letting us visit or give them her medication and a book I had bought for her. Chris was anxious to see Courtney because he was worried about her and worried if she was warm enough at night. He thought we could tell them how I came 1,000 miles to see her and just maybe they would let us visit her. No way. The guard could care less. We would have to come back tomorrow.

I took Chris back to his duplex since he had plans with friends and I went back to the hotel to watch more t.v. I finally decided that I would just have dinner at the food court at Arizona Mills Mall. I always find it theraputic to walk around a mall and window shop. There is a pet store there that sells dogs and I always enjoy going in and looking at the puppies. I went to Old Navy and bought Courtney five shirts that were on clearance. I walked around until the stores started closing then went back to the hotel and enjoyed having nothing else to do.

THE PUPPY

The evening before Courtney was to begin her sentence I brought home a seven week old foster puppy. It had been Jessica's idea. She had been looking at the Boxer Rescue website and saw that a temporary foster home was needed for a few puppies until the new owners could pick them up. The woman who had been fostering the litter needed a break because she had a total of 13 dogs in her house. Edward was 75% Boxer and 25% Australian Shepard. The puppies in his litter had been named after the characters in Twilight. Edward was white with some large brown spots. He had a brown patch over his left eye and what looked like black eyeliner that went over his eye and extended a little over an inch past his eye. His hair was a little longer than a Boxer's and it was unbelievably soft.

Playing with a puppy is a great stress reliever and I certainly needed one. Seven week old puppies in particular will keep one very busy. They like to explore and try to eat anything and pee and poop anywhere. They do not want to be alone, especially at night. We all took turns putting Edward on our lap for a nap, it was his favorite place to sleep.

The young man who adopted him lives in Arkansas and would not be able to pick him up until the next weekend. The only problem with keeping a puppy for ten days (other than lack of sleep) is that you get so attached to them. We tried to keep in mind that we were watching him for someone else. Our other two dogs loved playing with Edward and we knew they would miss him too.

Edward's new father changed his name to Turbo Nacho and has sent us a few pictures and updates on him. Turbo also has his own website now. It was really a relief to know that Turbo has a dad who obviously has fallen in love with him. But now that he is gone that leaves more time for me to worry about Courtney . . . .

Thursday, January 28, 2010

THE FIRST WEEKEND AT TENT CITY

Early Saturday morning I texted Courtney to make sure she woke up in time. It was so hard to believe my daughter was going to jail. I had really been stressing over it but Courtney wrote "Don't worry I will be fine tomorrow I'm so strong now after the halfway house there isnt anything I cant make it through." That was nice to know, I just hoped it was true.

I hated not being able to get in touch with her for the weekend, until she called me collect from jail. Collect calls from jail cost a fortune, probably about $25 a minute. At least it was expensive when Courtney used our phone to talk to Dopey when he was in jail in Oklahoma. I had a feeling Arizona would be just as bad. Anyway, Courtney was sick. Her asthma was bothering her and her sinuses were stopped up and she was getting worse. Her inhaler had been left in the car because there was no label from the pharmacy on it, the label had been on the box it came in. I could only tell her to talk to a guard about getting medical attention.

About an hour later Courtney called me from her cell phone. A guard had let her out for six hours to go to a minor emergency clinic and she needed me to call a couple she had found on her GPS and see if they were open and if they would take my credit card over the phone. Lucky for her the second one would take it. As it turned out, the clinic was also on our insurance so the visit only cost $20. Courtney was given a breathing treatment, large dose of steroids, and a Z pack (antibiotics). The doctor told her she would not normally give antibiotics for what she had but since it was filthy in jail she wanted her to take them.

On her way back to jail Courtney stopped at a McDonalds for some "real food" and called to let me know what it was like at Tent City. Since she had work release she could wear her own clothes. They don't have to work and can do whatever they want during the day. Courtney would read, play cards or sleep. She said everyone there was in jail for a DUI. The food was awful. It was impossible to sleep through the night because of the guards making announcements over the speaker. They would have a head count around midnight and then start waking people up at five. She did not want to take a shower there.

Courtney could only take the clothes she was wearing, a jacket and some magazines. If you want a book it has to be a paperback. No hard cover books are allowed. She was provided with toothpaste and a toothbrush, everything else she would have to buy there. There were vending machines but she had forgotten to take a roll of quarters. They are not allowed to keep a large sum of money on them - I think the limit is $40.

Monday morning she overslept and had to beg a guard to let her out. She made it to work on time and counted the minutes until she could stop by home and take a shower. Actually, she was not supposed to go home but she lived just a little over one mile from where she worked which made it very convenient to slip over and take a quick break. I asked her if they would be checking up on her at work and she said they would send someone around only if they thought you had been lying about working.

Every morning Courtney would text me to say good morning and let me know how she was doing. The medication cleared up her sinuses and she was feeling normal again. She is enjoying going back to work. But still, it's going to be a long month.